The daddy, the father, and the Father.

Today is the the day…. the day I give my annual Father’s Day lecture.

My kids have been blessed with many, many fathers: Joseph, their biological daddy in heaven, Preston who adopted them, and most importantly their Heavenly Father, God. 

Children are a blessing from God.  Chase had a thick head of blonde hair as a baby.  I remember stroking his hair as I rocked him one night.  I was in awe that God knew how many hairs he had on his head and had meticulously placed them there. Hunter came along a few years later the exact opposite, a head of dark, fine hair…. and a bald spot. I wondered if God got in a hurry and made a mistake. I later found out that it’s very common and called a “Angel’s Kiss”. 18 years later, the angel is still kissing him. A few months ago, I spent a little time with my great nephew and was mesmerized by his beautiful blue eyes. My point is that God created them all in His own image, although they are created from choices we made. And people we chose to make those choices with.

This is where my lecture begins.

Our children don’t get a say in who their mama or daddy is. It’s not fair to them to have a mama telling them what a sack of poop their daddy is. Or maybe you’re mad because daddy moved on to the next woman. Still not Billy’s fault. Maybe Susie’s daddy is $10,000 behind in child support. Not Susie’s fault. Maybe Billy is a spitting image of his daddy, who you now despise. Not Billy’s fault. Billy and Susie want, need, and crave the love of their father once they’ve had it. They’ll crave it all the way into adulthood. Dig deep and find a good memory to tell Sally about… even if it was just that ONE time that her daddy dropped a pack of diapers off. Or tell Billy that he has his daddy’s hands.

Father’s….. you’re not off the hook. Love your baby mama’s, even if the only thing you can stand about her is the beautiful child that she helped create. Don’t called mama ugly names. You are that little boy’s idol. He’s going to grow up and treat women the way he sees daddy treating them. Be a hero in every situation.

I had a childhood that could have had a hero, but didn’t. It wasn’t until the last 15 years or so that I’ve had my Pop in all the ways that I’ve needed him. It’s a God thing.

No matter the circumstances, we all need to teach our kids the love of the ONE Father who will never forsake them. He’ll always be there, and always love them when their humans let them down.

Today, for what might be the first time ever in my 49 years, I’ll be joining Pop and my two brothers in church. I’m not sure I’ll be able to see the preacher’s lips due to the tears that are sure to flow. I’ll be surrounded by my wonderful husband, and two boys that know that their biological daddy loved more than anything in this world….. and even that love doesn’t compare to how much their Heavenly Father loves them.

I may just have to put my arm around Hunter and rub his “Angel’s kiss”.

Happy Father’s Day to all!

The Beancounter




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