I’m a beancounter. My blog signature is ‘The BeanCounter‘. I count numbers. All day. Five days a week. And I have done so for a high percentage of the last 30 years. I like numbers better than people. Numbers don’t talk back, and they don’t lie. In my world, 2+5 will never equal 12. Never. I like numbers, but I don’t need them to function and survive.
Last week, as I was FaceTiming Chase and trying eat at the dinner table, a commercial came on and Preston started pacing the length of the house. Honestly, it was getting on my nerves but I didn’t say anything. The commercials ended and he sat back down in his recliner. A few minutes later, a commercial came on again and so did the pacing. I snapped at Chase and told him I had to go because it was driving me insane! I hurt Preston’s feelings and rudely cut my son off when he cared enough to call to talk to me.
I ended up apologizing but still spent the remainder of the evening in my bedroom, separated from it. I needed to de-stimulate. If I’m honest, I’m having to de-stimulate a lot lately.
Preston’s day are only functionable when he has planned them out to a tee. He measures his water intake. He meticulously records his daily weight, blood sugar readings, and blood pressure numbers into spreadsheets. He paces for so many hours during the commercials. He has a set number of steps he has to achieve. He rides a stationery bike at the same time for the same amount of time each He does his Bible studies for so many hours each morning…. a certain number of chapters in each of the 3 sections he has divided his bible into. His watch alarm goes off at exact times each day to walk his dogs. He waters his garden at exactly 8:30 every night. He cuts his fresh veggies from the plants with scissors each morning. I’m not allowed to move stuff around the kitchen cabinets. Matter of fact, I see him cringe if I’m in the kitchen for more than 5 minutes. The sink sponges go in a certain place a certain way. In case you haven’t figured it out, Preston is OCD. Diagnosed OCD. It’s a by-product of his brain injury. His neurologist wants to add another pill. We refuse to add another pill to the daily 27 that he currently takes.
Tonight, I came across Preston’s meticulous meal list for this week. The Lord used that list as a teachable moment for me.
The Lord reminded me that counting and numbers go all the way back to the moment of conception, when He knows the number of hairs on every single one of our heads. Every single one. The Lord loves us that much….. an unimaginable number…. infinity times infinity squared!
The second teachable moment came when the Lord reminded me of how much my husband loves his family. He gets up every single day with a brain all mixed up like spaghetti ( Dr. Mandel’s words) and with slow, disciplined, and calculated steps, works to sort and untangle the noodles one by one. He spends his day making food lists and has worked so hard to master delicious meals. He works to keep his kitchen in order so the “noodles” don’t get tangled back up. It takes so much planning and preparing on his part. Many times when he is getting those 20,000 steps in pacing, he’s planning on what day to wash the sheets or vacuum the floors….. as a token of his love. Preston was stripped of his ability to work and provide in the normal sense, but he does everything in his power to take care of us…. down to studying scripture for hours daily. I asked him once why he bothered, knowing that his short term memory would fail him. He quietly and humbly replied that he could hide the Word in his heart like God says. He will always be the spiritual leader of our home.
I’m reminded of the most important “list” that will ever be known to mankind. That list is in the Lamb’s Book. Is your name on it? With all this craziness in this world right now, I want to remind you that there is a place of eternal peace. To get there, you have to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Then this place and times we are living will be the ONLY hell you will ever know.
Get your name on the list. Please.