Where did you go, God?

IMG_2678A couple of years ago, when Preston was hospitalized and we were in the deepest valley I’ve ever known, I caught myself talking to God.  All the time. Like He was right by my side in the human flesh.

It was a feeling I’ll never forget.  Preston had been given a death sentence by the fleshly doctors.  I kept chasing the hospital chaplain out of the room(we all know what that was about😩).   I was scared, alone, and weary.

I felt like I had prayed so much that it was never ending.  One prayer never stopped before the next one began.  All day long.  Then it was more like I was just talking to God and not praying the “religious” prayers.  He saw my heart and my raw emotions.  He heard my cries.

And He comforted me.  I found joy.  In Him.  I was not alone. I never had been.  I believe that when we are truly broken, we can find God right next to us.   So many people tell me that I’m strong. That’s the furtherest from the truth.  I often laugh and ask if they could  not see Jesus holding me up?  I saw Him in it all.  I felt Him.

Now, I’m craving that relationship again.  It’s a yearning that only He can satisfy.  No church can, no man can.   I let life get in the way.

God didn’t go anywhere.  I did.






2 thoughts on “Where did you go, God?

  1. Max Johnson

    You are brutally honest. We all should be. I’m guilty of trying to use God as an escape route instead of a daily guide.
    Thank you




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